People pleasers have a hard time saying no. There are so many considerations seemingly standing in our way—social pressures and internal pressures, empathy and sympathy, attraction and temptation—not to mention power dynamics. Perceived obligations and actual obligations, presumed consequences and actual consequences . . . oh, and what about guilt? Sometimes we’re even lucky enough to experience them all at once!
Saying yes all the time is not the answer either. Learning to set boundaries—and making them stick—is hard.
People pleasers will do almost anything to avoid conflict, but at what cost? The truth is, it takes some serious training. The first step is to find your no muscle. It might be a little weak at first.
The more comfortable you become with saying it, the stronger your no muscle will get—strong enough to be tough when the circumstances call for it.
Copyright © 2023 by Monente, Nicole. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.