Chapter OneI’m here about the job,” said Fred Sassafras.
“What job?” asked Piper Corduroy. She was a small girl seated behind a big desk with a voice that sounded like a creaky ship. The Broom Room office was small but tall. It used to be a janitor’s closet.
Fred squeezed in as best he could.
“This job,” said Fred, holding up a poster he’d found in the bathroom.
“That’s not a job. That’s a funny-looking horse.”
Piper was right. Fred flipped the poster over.
“I meant this one,” said Fred, pointing to where it said:
“Oh, right. THAT job,” said Piper.
“May I have an interview?” asked Fred.
“No.”
“No?”
“Yes.”
“YES!”
“No. ‘Yes’ was an answer to your ‘no.’ I can’t possibly hire you for the job. You’re not a good fit.”
“How can you say that? You just met me.”
“You’re not a good fit for the room. My office is small but tall. You’re tall but . . . tall. There’s no room in the Broom Room for someone your size. Especially with a head that big.”
“My head is big?”
“Gigantic.”
“Oh. Okay. Well, I guess if there’s no room for me, I’ll head out.”
“Please do.”
That moment, the school prankster, Belly Buttons, crashed through the door—knocking Fred headfirst into a small chair.
He fit perfectly.
“How odd,” said Piper. She said this when something surprised her, and Piper was not often surprised.
“THERE’S BEEN A MURDER!” hollered Belly.
“A murder?” said Fred.
“Sorry. I meant muffin. THERE’S BEEN A MUFFIN!” Belly said, pulling a muffin from his coat pocket.
“Someone is secretly stuffing them into my pockets! Someone is pranking ME, and I’M the school’s number one PRANKSTER! Oh, the IRONY! I need your help solving this muffin mystery!”
“How odd,” said Piper for the second time that morning. After a moment of deep thinking, she turned to Fred and said, “You’re hired.”
Copyright © 2026 by Noah Z. Jones; Illustrated by Noah Z. Jones. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
