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Super Subversive Cross Stitch

50 Fresh as F*ck Designs

Look inside
Hardcover
$16.95 US
7.58"W x 7.46"H x 0.54"D   | 15 oz | 32 per carton
On sale Nov 02, 2021 | 128 Pages | 978-1-63217-388-1
From the OG of the Subversive Cross Stitch movement (and brand of the same name) comes Super Subversive Cross Stitch. Featuring 50 easy-to-make designs—both brand-new patterns and fan favorites—stitched together with trademark wit.

Don't freak out. Don't make this about you. May your life be as amazing as you pretend it is on Facebook. What fresh hell is this? Not today, Satan.

Super Subversive Cross Stitch is here to provide crafters with the snarky inspirations they love to stitch. The book features 50 patterns—23 brand-new designs and 27 fan favorites—along with easy-to-follow instructions for the beginner and fonts and designs for adventurous crafters looking to customize their creations. It recasts a traditional, dare we say "sentimental," craft into a modern, relevant art form. It's the latest offering in the Subversive Cross Stitch brand, beloved by legions of DIYers. Less messy than graffiti, Super Subversive Cross Stitch allows crafters to adorn walls with political pith and irreverent twists on classic quotes ("I think, therefore I drink," "Let the good times be gin").

“This book reminds me that I'm not alone in being crafty and sweary all at the same time. Pass the gin.” 
—Jenny Lawson, New York Times–bestselling author of Furiously Happy, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, and Broken

"Julie is the true OG of the subversive cross-stitch movement. Modern cross-stitch design would not be what it is today without her. She is a positive and supportive force in the cross-stitch community, providing mentorship to other designers and welcoming new stitchers into the hobby. I am so excited about her new book!"
—Stephanie Rohr, author of Feminist Cross-Stitch
"We will never not love the hilarity of Julie Jackson's cross stitch genius, and her latest book is full of brand-new gems."
—BUST

"This book reminds me that I'm not alone in being crafty and sweary all at the same time. Pass the gin."
—Jenny Lawson, New York Times–bestselling author of Furiously Happy, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, and Broken

"Subversive Cross Stitch blogger Jackson offers 50 wickedly funny designs in this rip-roaring cross stitch pattern guide. . . [Her] fun-filled approach goes a long way to ridding the craft of its fusty image. Those new to cross-stitch will find this to be a kick-ass place to start."
—Publishers Weekly

"Julie is the true OG of the subversive cross-stitch movement. Modern cross-stitch design would not be what it is today without her. She is a positive and supportive force in the cross-stitch community, providing mentorship to other designers and welcoming new stitchers into the hobby. I am so excited about her new book!"
—Stephanie Rohr, author of Feminist Cross Stitch

"It's [a] combination of encouragement and wisdom that makes Super Subversive Cross Stitch an extremely accessible book for those new to the craft."
—X Stitch Magazine
In 2003, Julie Jackson created Subversive Cross Stitch, a bedrock of the modern craft movement that pairs old-fashioned samplers with snarky sentiments. She has authored two cross stitch books: Subversive Cross Stitch: 50 F*cking Clever Designs for Your Sassy Side (powerHouse Books, 2015) and Subversive Cross Stitch: 33 Designs for Your Surly Side (Chronicle Books, 2006).

Her kits, cards, and other gift items bearing Subversive designs can be found online and in retail stores around the world. Kits, supplies, advice, and hundreds of PDF patterns can be found on her site, subversivecrossstitch.com.

Julie also created Kitty Wigs, an early contender in the online world of cat memes. Her book Glamourpuss: The Enchanting World of Kitty Wigs, has been seen in People magazine, on Good Morning America, The Tonight Show, and even in the National Enquirer.
Subversive Cross Stitch—Now more than ever!
Welcome back, Subversive stitchers, I made this book just for YOU!
 
Whether you’re new to the craft or have been with us from the start, I’m so glad you’re part of our Subversive community. I love seeing your work, whether it’s stitching one of our patterns or striking out on your own and creating an original—your creativity keeps me going!
 
Subversive Cross Stitch was a new idea when we began in 2003. I invited people to come out and play, to make the idea their own, and now (lowercase) subversive cross stitch has become a movement. There’s room for everyone because the ideas are endless and because no two people approach it in the same way. Subversive Cross Stitch isn’t just mine; it’s ours. I love that.
 
You’ve probably discovered how much cross stitching helps engage and soothe your mind. I can attest firsthand to how very true that is. It’s all about FLOW—there’s something about engaging your hands in stitching that lets your mind roam free. Stabbing a needle through fabric has notoriously therapeutic benefits, akin to those of meditation. It’s downright magical.
 
It’s good for stress, health, aging, everything. On top of that, I believe happiness comes through gratitude and giving. Nothing is quite as fun as gifting someone with your finished work—especially if it really cracks them up or catches them off guard with an f-bomb. Think about the last time someone gave you something handmade. It made your day, amirite? Not only because it was funny, but because they thought of you and spent their free time creating something especially with you in mind. That brand of kindness means so much more than a store-bought card.
 
This is the whole reason I started Subversive Cross Stitch. It’s art therapy, it’s surprisingly soothing, and the end result makes people smile. What’s better than that?
 
I hope you’ll pick up this book and stab fabric throughout life whenever you need to—for therapy, for gifts, for your own amusement. I’ve included some pieces that are more challenging, so pace yourself—you don’t have to do everything at once! Branch out when you’re ready. And consider this book a launchpad to expand your creativity: change fabric, colors, dimensions; stitch on pillows or paper or screen doors. The sky’s the limit.
 
And remember: the cardinal rule of Subversive Cross Stitch is to enjoy the process and not worry about perfection—who really cares how the back of your stitching looks or if you’re “doing it right”? Let’s play!
 
Julie Jackson
SubversiveCrossStitch.com
(Mind your fingers!)

Tools and Techniques
What’s New in This Book
In addition to all the never-before-published designs, including some fan favorites from our site, I’ve added variation with fabric counts, fabric colors, and floss textures (such as metallic floss). And so you never get bored (because only boring people get bored), I’ve added font charts, a blank grid, and some favorite Subversive motifs to help you branch out and create your own designs.
 
Your Bag of Tricks
As with any hobby worth pursuing, there’s a world of gadgets to explore. I’ll talk about those a bit later in the book. For now, we’re going to keep it really simple and address only what you’ll need to complete the patterns in this book. For animated instructions and tips, please visit the How-To section of our website, SubversiveCrossStitch.com.
 
Ready to dive in? Let’s start with the basics:
• Cross-stitch fabric (Aida, 14-count)
• A pack of tapestry needles (size 24)
• DMC cotton six-strand embroidery floss
(each pattern lists the colors you’ll need)
• A wooden or plastic embroidery hoop (5 or 6
inches [12.7 or 15.2 cm] in circumference)
• Scissors (small, sharp embroidery scissors
are ideal)
• Pinking shears (if you’ve got them)
• Good lighting
 
FABRIC
My patterns usually start with Aida cross-stitch fabric in 14-count white, which is ideal for beginners. Cross-stitch fabric has squares woven into it so that it’s obvious where each stitch should go. Aida is the most common type of cross-stitch fabric, so it should be easy to find. The count of the fabric refers to the number of squares per inch. The level of difficulty and the size of the final piece depend on the count size used. For example, 14-count fabric has 14 squares per inch.
 
Some patterns use different sizes or types of cross-stitch fabric and they’ll be noted as such. But don’t worry about that right now, we’ll just start with good ol’ 14-count fabric.
 
To avoid the edges of the fabric fraying, it helps to tape or cut them. If you have some pinking shears (scissors with a zigzag edge), trim all four sides of the material along the edges. This will prevent the fabric from fraying, but it’s not absolutely necessary. You can also use masking tape around the edges in a pinch. Or, if the edges don’t bother you, just skip this part. Whatever works for you is right.
 
Oh—don’t forget to wash the Cheetos dust off your hands before you start! This is doubly important if you’re working with white or printed fabric (which isn’t so washable).
 
NEEDLES
Tapestry needles are used in cross stitch because they have blunt ends that glide through the fabric without piercing or splitting it (unlike sharp embroidery needles). They also have a large eye for easy threading. Since we’re starting with 14-count fabric, we’ll use size 24 tapestry needles. It’s always a good idea to have more than one needle handy in case you lose one.
 
EMBROIDERY FLOSS
Embroidery thread, which is also used for cross stitch, is called “floss.” We use DMC six-strand cotton embroidery floss because it’s the most universal (and easy to find). Like most floss, is made up of six easily separated strands. You’ll almost never use all six strands at once; usually just one or two are used.
 
IMPORTANT: For 14-count fabric, you’re going to use just two* of those smaller strands. So cut a length of floss—about 15 to 18 inches (38 to 46 cm) long—and separate the strands until you have just two together (hang on to the remaining four strands, you’ll probably need them in a minute!).

THE SUBVERSIVE FLOSS PALETTE: To simplify things, I generally stay within a small set of colors. We will definitely branch out from here, but these colors provide a good starter floss stash:
 310 black
 817 red
 725 yellow
 701 green
 151 pink
 602 fuchsia
 800 light blue
 798 medium blue
 518 teal blue
 740 orange
 
My patterns are charted to DMC thread-color numbers—the most universal and easy-to-find brand.
 
That way, if you run out of floss, you can easily reference the color number and pick up the exact same one at most craft stores. It’s like Pantone for floss. (And of course, you are welcome to go rogue and pick your own color palette. That’s some subversiveness I can get behind.)
 
The color key at the bottom of each pattern tells you which colors of floss to use. One skein of any color is enough for any single pattern in this book.
 
*Later, when you advance to 18-count fabric, you’ll use only ONE little strand at a time! But don’t worry about that just yet.
 
HOOP
In my experience, it’s a good idea to use an embroidery hoop to hold the fabric taut while you stitch. With practice you may not always need one, but if you’re just starting out, it will help you learn to keep the tension of your stitches even. It doesn’t matter what the hoop is made of—plastic, wood, whatever. Just make sure the hoop is large enough to clamp the material all the way around. Also, the material doesn’t have to be stretched super tight; the hoop is there just to help to hold the material flat. You may have to tighten or stretch the material as you go—that’s to be expected.
 
SCISSORS
If you’re just starting out, any scissors will do. But a small, sharp pair of embroidery scissors will make a huge difference when you make a mistake and want to cut out some stitches. Treat yourself and get a good-quality pair with sharp points.
 
Let’s Get Started!
After you’ve chosen a pattern and gathered the basic supplies, it’s time to take the leap into crossstitch nirvana. Cross stitch may be the simplest kind of embroidery because it almost always uses the same basic stitch and the weave of the material shows you exactly where each stitch should be made. Plus, if you mess up, it’s easily undone—so don’t sweat it. Remember, perfection is the enemy of progress!
 
Cross stitch is exactly what it sounds like: two diagonal stitches, a bottom stitch and a top stitch, that together form an X. In some patterns, you’ll also see what looks like a simple line. This is called a backstitch, and it is stitched exactly as shown on the pattern—just a small straight line. No need to be intimidated: cross stitch is a lot like a connect-the-dots coloring sheet.

CUT THE FABRIC
Be sure to cut a piece of fabric large enough for the pattern area plus a border of 3 to 4 inches (7.6 to 10.2 cm) around each side of the pattern. You can always trim excess fabric, but having too little to work with can be a disaster—and the only mistake that may be impossible to recover from. I mean, you can still go on with your life, but you might have to start your cross-stitch career over from scratch. Them’s the breaks!
 
Find the approximate center of the pattern by following the solid arrows on the top and left side of the pattern. Then find the approximate center of the fabric. An easy way to do this is to fold the fabric in half vertically and horizontally, pressing it flat with your hand. This will leave a temporary crease in the center.
 
HOOP IT UP
Familiarize yourself with the hoop and you’ll notice there are actually two pieces: a smaller circle and a larger circle with a screw on it. Unscrew the larger piece so that you have two hoops—the inner one and the outer one. Put the inner (smaller) hoop on a flat surface, then place the fabric on top of that hoop. Try to get the center point on the fabric situated near the middle of the hoop.
 
Next, loosen the larger hoop until you can place it on top of the fabric, and push down with both hands so that the hoops are holding the fabric taut between them. You may need to fiddle around with the screw on the outer hoop to make it just right. Trust your instincts. You can test it out by pretending it’s a bongo drum, because why not? It doesn’t need to be crazy tight, but since you’ll be stitching on it for a while, you want it to be taut enough that it won’t begin to sag in the center. You can always readjust the fabric tension as you go, so don’t worry about getting it perfect.
 
FLOSS PREP 101
It’s very important to use the right amount of floss. You’ll know immediately if you’re using too much—it will feel obviously bulky and be hard to work through the fabric. For our typical 14-count fabric designs, you will use only two strands at a time. If you’re working on 18-count fabric, you will use only one strand of floss to stitch. Review the information on page 6 that explains how to separate DMC embroidery floss into strands.
 
Cut your floss—about 15 to 18 inches (38 to 46 cm) long. Sometimes floss that’s too long tangles and knots. If that happens to you, just shorten the floss. If it still happens, use beeswax or thread conditioner, a product made just for this purpose.
 
LET’S STITCH!
Once you’ve threaded the needle, begin stitching near the center of the pattern. Working from the center out keeps you from accidentally stitching right off the material. Finding the center isn’t an exact science, just approximate. Above all, don’t freak out! If you’re tense when you stitch, your hands will hurt later. So it’s essential to keep an eye on your mood and negative self-talk. Don’t be critical. Like my brother used to say when he’d play-slap me with my own hand, you’re only hurting yourself!
 
You may have heard the term counted cross stitch, which refers to the most common type of cross stitch that doesn’t have a pattern preprinted on the fabric. It’s called counted because you literally navigate where to stitch by counting the stitches on the pattern and then making those stitches on the fabric. This sounds tedious at first, but once you get your cross-stitch show on the road, it’ll become second nature and can actually be meditative and very soothing (especially if you silence your phone).
 
To begin stitching, bring the threaded needle up from the back of the fabric, leaving at least a 1-inch (2.5-cm) tail of thread on the back side of the fabric. Hold that tail of thread so that you can stitch the next five or six stitches over it. Clip off the extra thread. To end a strand, weave the needle back through the last five or six stitches at the back of your work to secure it, then clip the thread short so as not to leave a loose tail. No knots! Knots are for babies. Plus, if you choose to mount your masterpiece, the knots may show through because the fabric won’t lie flat. (You can find animated instructions, tips, and tricks on SubversiveCrossStitch.com on the How-To page.)
 
CROSS-STITCH BASICS
There are two methods. The first is to complete each X as you go, first making one leg of the X, then crossing it on your next stitch. Once you get comfortable, you may want to employ the second method, which is a real time-saver: first work a row of half-stitches in one direction (////), then work back (\\) to complete the Xs. This way, you work from the front side of the material, like sewing. This method is useful for blocks of solid color. (See diagram on page 10.)
 
Make sure each X crosses in the same direction—for example, the top stitches should run from the upper-left corner to the bottom right corner of each square. Stitching this way will give your finished piece the uniform look prized by cross-stitch connoisseurs worldwide.
 
Your stitches should lie flat on the fabric and not distort it, so try to keep the tension even. Don’t pull too hard—the floss isn’t going anywhere! You’re not sewing something tight to hold it together, you’re just adorning fabric with floss.
 
If you make an error while stitching, it’s easy to correct by pulling out the stitches with a needle, or snipping them out with your fancy embroidery scissors. Have a drink or take a walk around the block and try again. Forge ahead!

About

From the OG of the Subversive Cross Stitch movement (and brand of the same name) comes Super Subversive Cross Stitch. Featuring 50 easy-to-make designs—both brand-new patterns and fan favorites—stitched together with trademark wit.

Don't freak out. Don't make this about you. May your life be as amazing as you pretend it is on Facebook. What fresh hell is this? Not today, Satan.

Super Subversive Cross Stitch is here to provide crafters with the snarky inspirations they love to stitch. The book features 50 patterns—23 brand-new designs and 27 fan favorites—along with easy-to-follow instructions for the beginner and fonts and designs for adventurous crafters looking to customize their creations. It recasts a traditional, dare we say "sentimental," craft into a modern, relevant art form. It's the latest offering in the Subversive Cross Stitch brand, beloved by legions of DIYers. Less messy than graffiti, Super Subversive Cross Stitch allows crafters to adorn walls with political pith and irreverent twists on classic quotes ("I think, therefore I drink," "Let the good times be gin").

“This book reminds me that I'm not alone in being crafty and sweary all at the same time. Pass the gin.” 
—Jenny Lawson, New York Times–bestselling author of Furiously Happy, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, and Broken

"Julie is the true OG of the subversive cross-stitch movement. Modern cross-stitch design would not be what it is today without her. She is a positive and supportive force in the cross-stitch community, providing mentorship to other designers and welcoming new stitchers into the hobby. I am so excited about her new book!"
—Stephanie Rohr, author of Feminist Cross-Stitch

Praise

"We will never not love the hilarity of Julie Jackson's cross stitch genius, and her latest book is full of brand-new gems."
—BUST

"This book reminds me that I'm not alone in being crafty and sweary all at the same time. Pass the gin."
—Jenny Lawson, New York Times–bestselling author of Furiously Happy, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, and Broken

"Subversive Cross Stitch blogger Jackson offers 50 wickedly funny designs in this rip-roaring cross stitch pattern guide. . . [Her] fun-filled approach goes a long way to ridding the craft of its fusty image. Those new to cross-stitch will find this to be a kick-ass place to start."
—Publishers Weekly

"Julie is the true OG of the subversive cross-stitch movement. Modern cross-stitch design would not be what it is today without her. She is a positive and supportive force in the cross-stitch community, providing mentorship to other designers and welcoming new stitchers into the hobby. I am so excited about her new book!"
—Stephanie Rohr, author of Feminist Cross Stitch

"It's [a] combination of encouragement and wisdom that makes Super Subversive Cross Stitch an extremely accessible book for those new to the craft."
—X Stitch Magazine

Author

In 2003, Julie Jackson created Subversive Cross Stitch, a bedrock of the modern craft movement that pairs old-fashioned samplers with snarky sentiments. She has authored two cross stitch books: Subversive Cross Stitch: 50 F*cking Clever Designs for Your Sassy Side (powerHouse Books, 2015) and Subversive Cross Stitch: 33 Designs for Your Surly Side (Chronicle Books, 2006).

Her kits, cards, and other gift items bearing Subversive designs can be found online and in retail stores around the world. Kits, supplies, advice, and hundreds of PDF patterns can be found on her site, subversivecrossstitch.com.

Julie also created Kitty Wigs, an early contender in the online world of cat memes. Her book Glamourpuss: The Enchanting World of Kitty Wigs, has been seen in People magazine, on Good Morning America, The Tonight Show, and even in the National Enquirer.

Excerpt

Subversive Cross Stitch—Now more than ever!
Welcome back, Subversive stitchers, I made this book just for YOU!
 
Whether you’re new to the craft or have been with us from the start, I’m so glad you’re part of our Subversive community. I love seeing your work, whether it’s stitching one of our patterns or striking out on your own and creating an original—your creativity keeps me going!
 
Subversive Cross Stitch was a new idea when we began in 2003. I invited people to come out and play, to make the idea their own, and now (lowercase) subversive cross stitch has become a movement. There’s room for everyone because the ideas are endless and because no two people approach it in the same way. Subversive Cross Stitch isn’t just mine; it’s ours. I love that.
 
You’ve probably discovered how much cross stitching helps engage and soothe your mind. I can attest firsthand to how very true that is. It’s all about FLOW—there’s something about engaging your hands in stitching that lets your mind roam free. Stabbing a needle through fabric has notoriously therapeutic benefits, akin to those of meditation. It’s downright magical.
 
It’s good for stress, health, aging, everything. On top of that, I believe happiness comes through gratitude and giving. Nothing is quite as fun as gifting someone with your finished work—especially if it really cracks them up or catches them off guard with an f-bomb. Think about the last time someone gave you something handmade. It made your day, amirite? Not only because it was funny, but because they thought of you and spent their free time creating something especially with you in mind. That brand of kindness means so much more than a store-bought card.
 
This is the whole reason I started Subversive Cross Stitch. It’s art therapy, it’s surprisingly soothing, and the end result makes people smile. What’s better than that?
 
I hope you’ll pick up this book and stab fabric throughout life whenever you need to—for therapy, for gifts, for your own amusement. I’ve included some pieces that are more challenging, so pace yourself—you don’t have to do everything at once! Branch out when you’re ready. And consider this book a launchpad to expand your creativity: change fabric, colors, dimensions; stitch on pillows or paper or screen doors. The sky’s the limit.
 
And remember: the cardinal rule of Subversive Cross Stitch is to enjoy the process and not worry about perfection—who really cares how the back of your stitching looks or if you’re “doing it right”? Let’s play!
 
Julie Jackson
SubversiveCrossStitch.com
(Mind your fingers!)

Tools and Techniques
What’s New in This Book
In addition to all the never-before-published designs, including some fan favorites from our site, I’ve added variation with fabric counts, fabric colors, and floss textures (such as metallic floss). And so you never get bored (because only boring people get bored), I’ve added font charts, a blank grid, and some favorite Subversive motifs to help you branch out and create your own designs.
 
Your Bag of Tricks
As with any hobby worth pursuing, there’s a world of gadgets to explore. I’ll talk about those a bit later in the book. For now, we’re going to keep it really simple and address only what you’ll need to complete the patterns in this book. For animated instructions and tips, please visit the How-To section of our website, SubversiveCrossStitch.com.
 
Ready to dive in? Let’s start with the basics:
• Cross-stitch fabric (Aida, 14-count)
• A pack of tapestry needles (size 24)
• DMC cotton six-strand embroidery floss
(each pattern lists the colors you’ll need)
• A wooden or plastic embroidery hoop (5 or 6
inches [12.7 or 15.2 cm] in circumference)
• Scissors (small, sharp embroidery scissors
are ideal)
• Pinking shears (if you’ve got them)
• Good lighting
 
FABRIC
My patterns usually start with Aida cross-stitch fabric in 14-count white, which is ideal for beginners. Cross-stitch fabric has squares woven into it so that it’s obvious where each stitch should go. Aida is the most common type of cross-stitch fabric, so it should be easy to find. The count of the fabric refers to the number of squares per inch. The level of difficulty and the size of the final piece depend on the count size used. For example, 14-count fabric has 14 squares per inch.
 
Some patterns use different sizes or types of cross-stitch fabric and they’ll be noted as such. But don’t worry about that right now, we’ll just start with good ol’ 14-count fabric.
 
To avoid the edges of the fabric fraying, it helps to tape or cut them. If you have some pinking shears (scissors with a zigzag edge), trim all four sides of the material along the edges. This will prevent the fabric from fraying, but it’s not absolutely necessary. You can also use masking tape around the edges in a pinch. Or, if the edges don’t bother you, just skip this part. Whatever works for you is right.
 
Oh—don’t forget to wash the Cheetos dust off your hands before you start! This is doubly important if you’re working with white or printed fabric (which isn’t so washable).
 
NEEDLES
Tapestry needles are used in cross stitch because they have blunt ends that glide through the fabric without piercing or splitting it (unlike sharp embroidery needles). They also have a large eye for easy threading. Since we’re starting with 14-count fabric, we’ll use size 24 tapestry needles. It’s always a good idea to have more than one needle handy in case you lose one.
 
EMBROIDERY FLOSS
Embroidery thread, which is also used for cross stitch, is called “floss.” We use DMC six-strand cotton embroidery floss because it’s the most universal (and easy to find). Like most floss, is made up of six easily separated strands. You’ll almost never use all six strands at once; usually just one or two are used.
 
IMPORTANT: For 14-count fabric, you’re going to use just two* of those smaller strands. So cut a length of floss—about 15 to 18 inches (38 to 46 cm) long—and separate the strands until you have just two together (hang on to the remaining four strands, you’ll probably need them in a minute!).

THE SUBVERSIVE FLOSS PALETTE: To simplify things, I generally stay within a small set of colors. We will definitely branch out from here, but these colors provide a good starter floss stash:
 310 black
 817 red
 725 yellow
 701 green
 151 pink
 602 fuchsia
 800 light blue
 798 medium blue
 518 teal blue
 740 orange
 
My patterns are charted to DMC thread-color numbers—the most universal and easy-to-find brand.
 
That way, if you run out of floss, you can easily reference the color number and pick up the exact same one at most craft stores. It’s like Pantone for floss. (And of course, you are welcome to go rogue and pick your own color palette. That’s some subversiveness I can get behind.)
 
The color key at the bottom of each pattern tells you which colors of floss to use. One skein of any color is enough for any single pattern in this book.
 
*Later, when you advance to 18-count fabric, you’ll use only ONE little strand at a time! But don’t worry about that just yet.
 
HOOP
In my experience, it’s a good idea to use an embroidery hoop to hold the fabric taut while you stitch. With practice you may not always need one, but if you’re just starting out, it will help you learn to keep the tension of your stitches even. It doesn’t matter what the hoop is made of—plastic, wood, whatever. Just make sure the hoop is large enough to clamp the material all the way around. Also, the material doesn’t have to be stretched super tight; the hoop is there just to help to hold the material flat. You may have to tighten or stretch the material as you go—that’s to be expected.
 
SCISSORS
If you’re just starting out, any scissors will do. But a small, sharp pair of embroidery scissors will make a huge difference when you make a mistake and want to cut out some stitches. Treat yourself and get a good-quality pair with sharp points.
 
Let’s Get Started!
After you’ve chosen a pattern and gathered the basic supplies, it’s time to take the leap into crossstitch nirvana. Cross stitch may be the simplest kind of embroidery because it almost always uses the same basic stitch and the weave of the material shows you exactly where each stitch should be made. Plus, if you mess up, it’s easily undone—so don’t sweat it. Remember, perfection is the enemy of progress!
 
Cross stitch is exactly what it sounds like: two diagonal stitches, a bottom stitch and a top stitch, that together form an X. In some patterns, you’ll also see what looks like a simple line. This is called a backstitch, and it is stitched exactly as shown on the pattern—just a small straight line. No need to be intimidated: cross stitch is a lot like a connect-the-dots coloring sheet.

CUT THE FABRIC
Be sure to cut a piece of fabric large enough for the pattern area plus a border of 3 to 4 inches (7.6 to 10.2 cm) around each side of the pattern. You can always trim excess fabric, but having too little to work with can be a disaster—and the only mistake that may be impossible to recover from. I mean, you can still go on with your life, but you might have to start your cross-stitch career over from scratch. Them’s the breaks!
 
Find the approximate center of the pattern by following the solid arrows on the top and left side of the pattern. Then find the approximate center of the fabric. An easy way to do this is to fold the fabric in half vertically and horizontally, pressing it flat with your hand. This will leave a temporary crease in the center.
 
HOOP IT UP
Familiarize yourself with the hoop and you’ll notice there are actually two pieces: a smaller circle and a larger circle with a screw on it. Unscrew the larger piece so that you have two hoops—the inner one and the outer one. Put the inner (smaller) hoop on a flat surface, then place the fabric on top of that hoop. Try to get the center point on the fabric situated near the middle of the hoop.
 
Next, loosen the larger hoop until you can place it on top of the fabric, and push down with both hands so that the hoops are holding the fabric taut between them. You may need to fiddle around with the screw on the outer hoop to make it just right. Trust your instincts. You can test it out by pretending it’s a bongo drum, because why not? It doesn’t need to be crazy tight, but since you’ll be stitching on it for a while, you want it to be taut enough that it won’t begin to sag in the center. You can always readjust the fabric tension as you go, so don’t worry about getting it perfect.
 
FLOSS PREP 101
It’s very important to use the right amount of floss. You’ll know immediately if you’re using too much—it will feel obviously bulky and be hard to work through the fabric. For our typical 14-count fabric designs, you will use only two strands at a time. If you’re working on 18-count fabric, you will use only one strand of floss to stitch. Review the information on page 6 that explains how to separate DMC embroidery floss into strands.
 
Cut your floss—about 15 to 18 inches (38 to 46 cm) long. Sometimes floss that’s too long tangles and knots. If that happens to you, just shorten the floss. If it still happens, use beeswax or thread conditioner, a product made just for this purpose.
 
LET’S STITCH!
Once you’ve threaded the needle, begin stitching near the center of the pattern. Working from the center out keeps you from accidentally stitching right off the material. Finding the center isn’t an exact science, just approximate. Above all, don’t freak out! If you’re tense when you stitch, your hands will hurt later. So it’s essential to keep an eye on your mood and negative self-talk. Don’t be critical. Like my brother used to say when he’d play-slap me with my own hand, you’re only hurting yourself!
 
You may have heard the term counted cross stitch, which refers to the most common type of cross stitch that doesn’t have a pattern preprinted on the fabric. It’s called counted because you literally navigate where to stitch by counting the stitches on the pattern and then making those stitches on the fabric. This sounds tedious at first, but once you get your cross-stitch show on the road, it’ll become second nature and can actually be meditative and very soothing (especially if you silence your phone).
 
To begin stitching, bring the threaded needle up from the back of the fabric, leaving at least a 1-inch (2.5-cm) tail of thread on the back side of the fabric. Hold that tail of thread so that you can stitch the next five or six stitches over it. Clip off the extra thread. To end a strand, weave the needle back through the last five or six stitches at the back of your work to secure it, then clip the thread short so as not to leave a loose tail. No knots! Knots are for babies. Plus, if you choose to mount your masterpiece, the knots may show through because the fabric won’t lie flat. (You can find animated instructions, tips, and tricks on SubversiveCrossStitch.com on the How-To page.)
 
CROSS-STITCH BASICS
There are two methods. The first is to complete each X as you go, first making one leg of the X, then crossing it on your next stitch. Once you get comfortable, you may want to employ the second method, which is a real time-saver: first work a row of half-stitches in one direction (////), then work back (\\) to complete the Xs. This way, you work from the front side of the material, like sewing. This method is useful for blocks of solid color. (See diagram on page 10.)
 
Make sure each X crosses in the same direction—for example, the top stitches should run from the upper-left corner to the bottom right corner of each square. Stitching this way will give your finished piece the uniform look prized by cross-stitch connoisseurs worldwide.
 
Your stitches should lie flat on the fabric and not distort it, so try to keep the tension even. Don’t pull too hard—the floss isn’t going anywhere! You’re not sewing something tight to hold it together, you’re just adorning fabric with floss.
 
If you make an error while stitching, it’s easy to correct by pulling out the stitches with a needle, or snipping them out with your fancy embroidery scissors. Have a drink or take a walk around the block and try again. Forge ahead!

Super Subversive Cross Stitch: 50 Fresh as F*ck Designs

“This book reminds me that I’m not alone in being crafty and sweary all at the same time. Pass the gin.” —Jenny Lawson, New York Times–bestselling author of Furiously Happy, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, and Broken   The latest offering in the Subversive Cross Stitch brand (By Julie Jackson), beloved by legions of DIYers, Super Subversive Cross Stitch is here

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