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An Amateur Witch's Guide to Murder

A Novel

Author K. Valentin
Hardcover
$29.99 US
Crooked Lane Books | Alcove Press
5-1/2"W x 8-1/4"H | 20 oz | 12 per carton
On sale Oct 14, 2025 | 336 Pages | 9798892423427
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A wannabe witch tries to break a curse on a clueless client in this laugh-out-loud debut, for fans of queer romantic fantasy by T. J. Klune and Tamsyn Muir.

Mateo Borrero has 99 problems—and all of them hinge on his missing bruja mother and the demon she trapped inside his body.

Mateo's mother forbade him from ever using magic, but now that she’s gone, magic’s his only marketable skill, and he’d really like an exorcism—which costs money he doesn’t have. What’s the harm in making a quick buck by calling himself an Occult Specialist and chanting a few half-remembered spells in his crappy Spanish?

Enter Topher, a naive nepo baby with a curse that keeps killing people around him. Most importantly, he’s rich and too clueless to clock that Mateo—and his (absolutely-not-the-assistant) astral-projecting best friend Ophelia—have never actually had a client before. Lifting Topher’s bad luck curse should be simple, but as luck would have it, nothing is simple, and Topher–who Mateo sort of, kind of likes–might be at the center of a deadly magical conspiracy. 

To make matters worse, the more magic Mateo does, the stronger the demon inside him grows and the more he wants to eat people. But would caving to the urges of an ancient evil really be that bad if it helps him get a payday?

Legends and Lattes meets A Grim Reaper’s Guide to Catching a Killer in this hilarious and charming queer romantic fantasy readers won’t want to miss.
Praise for An Amateur Witch's Guide to Murder:
 "Wildly funny, deliciously dark, and a bloody good time. An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder perfectly illustrates that the best way to face your demons is with a sense of humor and friends by your side. I didn’t want it to end!"
—Maiga Doocy, author of Sorcery and Small Magics

"Funny, witty, and enticingly goth, this horror-kissed queer romance takes you by the claw into an unforgettable supernatural murder mystery. Amidst the fast-paced bone-crunching goodness are heartfelt reminders of the power of found family, queer connection, and self-discovery (plus: actual magical powers!). It’s the kind of story that will get you embracing your inner demon."
—Riley August, author of The Last Gifts of the Universe

 "Brisk, witty, and wildly inventive, An Amateur Witch's Guide to Murder is just the thing for those who like our demons with a side of sass. K. Valentin has crafted a delightfully wicked read perfect for fans of True Blood and The Lost Boys."
—Henry Neff, author of The Witchstone

"I enjoyed this immensely! Funny, dark, gory, and full of surprising twists, this is a super entertaining debut with a fantastic cast of characters and a dash of queer romance. It's a standalone but there's definitely potential for a fun sequel. Highly recommend!"
—M. Stevenson, author of Behooved
K. Valentin works as a senior art director in casual gaming, herding twenty-plus amazing artists into some semblance of organization. She has been published in the Bag of Bones Horror Anthology, the Latino Book Review, and Cosmos: An Anthology of Dark Microfiction. As a comic writer and illustrator, her work has been published in Puerto Rico Strong and Proud: An LGBTQ+ YA Anthology. She has a BA in creative writing from Southern New Hampshire University. An Amateur Witch's Guide to Murder is her debut novel.
K. Valentin View titles by K. Valentin

About

A wannabe witch tries to break a curse on a clueless client in this laugh-out-loud debut, for fans of queer romantic fantasy by T. J. Klune and Tamsyn Muir.

Mateo Borrero has 99 problems—and all of them hinge on his missing bruja mother and the demon she trapped inside his body.

Mateo's mother forbade him from ever using magic, but now that she’s gone, magic’s his only marketable skill, and he’d really like an exorcism—which costs money he doesn’t have. What’s the harm in making a quick buck by calling himself an Occult Specialist and chanting a few half-remembered spells in his crappy Spanish?

Enter Topher, a naive nepo baby with a curse that keeps killing people around him. Most importantly, he’s rich and too clueless to clock that Mateo—and his (absolutely-not-the-assistant) astral-projecting best friend Ophelia—have never actually had a client before. Lifting Topher’s bad luck curse should be simple, but as luck would have it, nothing is simple, and Topher–who Mateo sort of, kind of likes–might be at the center of a deadly magical conspiracy. 

To make matters worse, the more magic Mateo does, the stronger the demon inside him grows and the more he wants to eat people. But would caving to the urges of an ancient evil really be that bad if it helps him get a payday?

Legends and Lattes meets A Grim Reaper’s Guide to Catching a Killer in this hilarious and charming queer romantic fantasy readers won’t want to miss.

Praise

Praise for An Amateur Witch's Guide to Murder:
 "Wildly funny, deliciously dark, and a bloody good time. An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder perfectly illustrates that the best way to face your demons is with a sense of humor and friends by your side. I didn’t want it to end!"
—Maiga Doocy, author of Sorcery and Small Magics

"Funny, witty, and enticingly goth, this horror-kissed queer romance takes you by the claw into an unforgettable supernatural murder mystery. Amidst the fast-paced bone-crunching goodness are heartfelt reminders of the power of found family, queer connection, and self-discovery (plus: actual magical powers!). It’s the kind of story that will get you embracing your inner demon."
—Riley August, author of The Last Gifts of the Universe

 "Brisk, witty, and wildly inventive, An Amateur Witch's Guide to Murder is just the thing for those who like our demons with a side of sass. K. Valentin has crafted a delightfully wicked read perfect for fans of True Blood and The Lost Boys."
—Henry Neff, author of The Witchstone

"I enjoyed this immensely! Funny, dark, gory, and full of surprising twists, this is a super entertaining debut with a fantastic cast of characters and a dash of queer romance. It's a standalone but there's definitely potential for a fun sequel. Highly recommend!"
—M. Stevenson, author of Behooved

Author

K. Valentin works as a senior art director in casual gaming, herding twenty-plus amazing artists into some semblance of organization. She has been published in the Bag of Bones Horror Anthology, the Latino Book Review, and Cosmos: An Anthology of Dark Microfiction. As a comic writer and illustrator, her work has been published in Puerto Rico Strong and Proud: An LGBTQ+ YA Anthology. She has a BA in creative writing from Southern New Hampshire University. An Amateur Witch's Guide to Murder is her debut novel.
K. Valentin View titles by K. Valentin

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