IntroductionI was five when I wrote my first poem, and I discovered then how exciting it could be to read and write about something simply ordinary. I have written my whole life, mostly for myself, but somewhere along the way poetry changed for me; it became a way to turn the mundane into magic instead. Only since becoming a mother have I been reminded that the ordinary is extraordinary – my children have reminded me of that, and of my five- year- old self.
But as sacred and tender as early motherhood was for me, it also came with its struggles, so I wrote about those too. The highs, the lows, the confusion, the loss of identity, the becoming, the brutal and beautiful ways our children hold mirrors up to us. I decided to share my poems online (after a lot of nudges from my husband). It was incredibly scary being so vulnerable and facing the world, and it was also like one long exhale.
What started as scribbles in the notepad app on my phone soon became poems and prose that were shared far and wide. They started to create a ripple effect of sorts: other mothers were saying ‘same’, and expressing their vulnerability. Before long I was surrounded by this beautiful online village (for me that is what it felt like), the same one that encouraged me to write a book. Sharing these honest words with you all is also cathartic and healing for me, because motherhood is messy, and beautiful, and hard and humbling. We adore our children and sometimes miss ourselves. It’s so nuanced and, somehow, no matter the different paths we are on, we’re connected through motherhood. So yes, it’s scary when I think about my exposed heart on paper travelling the world, but then I think about who’s reading my heart and I know it’s OK, because ‘they’ll get it’.
I hope these pieces remind you of a time that was, or ground you in the time you’re in now.
I hope you feel seen in all this beautiful chaos.
Welcome to Motherhood
When I entered motherhood
I walked through a little door
‘This is Motherhood,’ it read
Everyone sat there in stripey tops
Exchanging pleasantries
Things scattered all over the floor
Bags overflowing
Nervous smiles
Connected by motherhood
Disconnected by unspoken truths
Then someone said
‘I love being a Mum, but this is also really hard,’
And suddenly I didn’t feel alone any more.
Mother in Waiting
It’s often said that I am made for this
Though sometimes I’m unsure
Because a mother wasn’t waiting in
The girl I was before.
She didn’t lie in restless slumbers
Memories made of night
And when the sky’s outfit would change
She’d struggle to see the light.
She’d never been so still before
While her heart continued to travel
She’d never felt so put together
While the stitching of her unravelled.
She’d never known the waves of pain
That were woven into her bones
How to move without their weight
Or how to dance alone.
She’d never been this shape before
Her body sore and broken
Where life did grow, her heart a home
Its door forever open.
She’d never known a relationship
Could balance on mountain ridges
An ocean in between them
As they built their tiny bridges.
She’d never known how love could change
A person to a place
How home is found in the way we’re held
In their smell, or in their face.
She’d never felt this kind of weight
Or how time could hold its breath
How silence could be deafening
How to give when there’s nothing left.
She’d never had to pretend to know
Question countlessly if she was wrong
And learn one day she wasn’t pretending
And she’d known all along.
Her feelings never leaked like rivers
Her time, never so poor
Yet richer in the ways
That didn’t matter as much before.
She didn’t know that nature could
Be placed upon her chest
How watching them grow was a type of calm
That meant she would never rest.
So though they say I was made for this
I’m not sure I agree
It wasn’t I that made the mother
But motherhood that made me.
Carrying You
I carried you.
In a heartbeat you were one too.
The beat of mine,
The first song I sang to you.
Through pain and a force like no other, I carried you
into this world.
My skin and smell, your first intuition.
Breathing beside you, as you breathed life into me.
With tired bones and heavy eyes,
I carried you.
With my sore body and full heart,
I carried you.
With an aching love,
Our hearts whispering to each other as you fell asleep.
Though I will cry, and you will too.
We’ll continue to sail along,
Led by you.
With this, I promise
to always carry you.
What a privilege to be loved like this.
The sleep will come.
The shore will come.
So I understand if you want to be here.
With one breath at a time.
I will carry you.
For as long as you need.
Because you carry me too.
Before We become Two
Soon we won’t be one.
We won’t move to the same rhythm,
our heartbeats won’t drum together from within.
This will be the last time I hold you this close.
One day you will be on your way,
and oh the treasures you will find,
the places you’ll discover,
the things you will achieve.
It’s impossible right now, in this moment,
to think I won’t bear witness to it all.
How one day someone else will share your secrets and moods,
and know you much better than me.
You will tell stories I’ve never heard before,
while ours will echo through my heart for ever.
Copyright © 2025 by Jessica Urlichs. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
