Unplug and Play

Our Bold Claim for Roughhousing
 
You know roughhousing when you see it: wrestling, pillow fights, jumping off beds, sliding down stairs, tossing kids in the air. Roughhousing is common among children, but this book focuses on a special type of roughhousing: parents and children enjoying physical play together. In this book, we give you a lot of roughhousing activities, but first we’d like to explore the philosophy behind all the horseplay. What is roughhousing all about, and what does it mean for parents and children?
     Roughhousing is play that flows with spontaneity, improvisation, and joy. It is free from worries about how we look or how much time is passing. It is physical, and it promotes physical fitness, release of tension, and well-being. Roughhousing is interactive, so it builds close connections between children and parents, especially as we get down on the floor and join them in their world of exuberance and imagination. Most important, roughhousing is rowdy, but not dangerous. With safety in mind, we can use roughhousing to release the creative life force within us, pushing us beyond
our inhibitions and inflexibilities.
     Unfortunately, roughhousing seems to be a bit of a lost art. Lots of traditional, vital play, including roughhousing, has been replaced by screen time, a hyperfocus on academics, and obsessions with safety. Many parents these days struggle to steer their children away from screens (not to mention keeping their own screen time in check, us included). Screen time isn’t all bad—sometimes it’s educational, sometimes it’s fun, and other times it’s unavoidable. Letting kids watch television or play on their phones and tablets can give exhausted parents a break. But there’s no question that the majority of American kids far exceed the limit recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics and the World Health Organization, which is less than one hour a day for kids under five (for older kids and teens, the American Heart Association recommends a maximum of two hours). And
excessive screen time has been associated with poor sleep, lowered academic performance, developmental delays, depression, and anxiety.
     Screen time isn’t the only, or even the primary, threat to healthy child development, but it’s associated with others: inactivity and lack of creative expression. When kids’ leisure time is outsourced to TV, video games, and social media, they move around less and engage in less spontaneous play. Children need to be mentally and physically active to be healthy. The passivity
of screens makes it harder for kids to get the mental and physical stimulation they need—but rowdy play can help.
     Screens aren’t the only culprit. Parents can also pull children from play by overscheduling them with activities that are meant to be educational or enriching. Like screens, these classes—and extra hours spent on “more important” things than play—may not be all bad. But they don’t meet the developmental needs of children the way rowdy play does.
     Another threat to roughhousing and physical play comes from parents who hover nervously when children do anything that seems emotionally or physically risky. They worry about kids being hurt, bullied, or overlooked on the playground—and they pass on their anxiety to their children, which is more and more a problem as overall anxiety in the world escalates. Parents may feel that adult-structured activities are safer and more easily monitored and controlled than children’s self-directed play.
     Certainly, adults need to be vigilant against abuse toward children—including by other children—but that doesn’t mean that free-form, rowdy play should be off-limits. Otherwise, children aren’t really playing—rather, they’re being played, by us, on our grown-up game board. In many ways, fears of skinned knees and bruised feelings have come to obscure the greater risks of stifled creativity and listless apathy.
     We’ve also met parents who worry that roughhousing gives kids attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). They think that roughhousing makes kids wild, aggressive, and impulsive—and always escalates into chaos and anarchy. The truth is just the opposite. Roughhousing with the support and companionship of parents helps children regulate their bodies and their energy.
     We hope this book will help parents reinvigorate playtime with their children and help build stronger family connections. What could be better than exciting roughhousing to get everyone off the couch? We will also show you how to keep roughhousing safe, so you can experience the benefits without (excessive) danger.