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Negotiating the Nonnegotiable

How to Resolve Your Most Emotionally Charged Conflicts

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Paperback
$19.00 US
5.44"W x 8.39"H x 0.77"D   | 10 oz | 24 per carton
On sale Mar 07, 2017 | 352 Pages | 9780143110170

“One of the most important books of our modern era” –Amb. Jaime de Bourbon

For anyone struggling with conflict, this book can transform you.
Negotiating the Nonnegotiable takes you on a journey into the heart and soul of conflict, providing unique insight into the emotional undercurrents that too often sweep us out to sea. With vivid stories of his closed-door sessions with warring political groups, disputing businesspeople, and families in crisis, Daniel Shapiro presents a universally applicable method to successfully navigate conflict.  A deep, provocative book to reflect on and wrestle with, this book can change your life.
 
Be warned: This book is not a quick fix. Real change takes work. You will learn how to master five emotional dynamics that can sabotage conflict outside your awareness:

1. Vertigo: How can you avoid getting emotionally consumed in conflict?
2. Repetition compulsion: How can you stop repeating the same conflicts again and again?
3. Taboos: How can you discuss sensitive issues at the heart of the conflict?
4. Assault on the sacred: What should you do if your values feel threatened?
5. Identity politics: What can you do if others use politics against you?

In our era of discontent, this is just the book we need to resolve conflict in our own lives and in the world around us.
“A masterpiece—clear, insightful, and practical. . . . Highly recommended!”
—William Ury, co-author of Getting to Yes and author of Getting to Yes with Yourself

“Quite simply, the best book I have ever read on negotiating in situations of extreme conflict.”
—Matthew Bishop, The Economist Group

“Brilliant insights to the baffling conundrum of our age, intractable disputes of all kinds.”
—Daniel Goleman, author Emotional Intelligence

"Excellent."
David Brooks, The New York Times

“Shapiro exposes the myth that humans are primarily rational in their decision making. . . . More importantly, he discusses the conflicts between good and bad that take place in all of us. . . . The world has been enriched with another intelligent lecture on how we should interact with each other. Hopefully this time we will listen.”
—Forbes

“Daniel Shapiro gives you the tools to transform yourself.”
Rick Kleffel (KQED), Rainbow Light blog

“I have recommended Shapiro’s book more than any other book I have read in quite some time.”
PsychCentral   

“A blueprint for successful negotiation.”
—Booklist

“Appealing to rationality isn’t always the best way to mend a rift; instead, both parties in a negotiation have to be willing to get in touch with the conflict’s more emotional underpinnings. In his book, Negotiating the Nonnegotiable [Shapiro] shares the strategies he’s used to help people in all kinds of settings access the core emotions driving their conflicts and reach mutually beneficial resolutions.”
—Business Insider
 
“A must-read! Dan Shapiro’s Negotiating the Nonnegotiable offers bold, practical, and uplifting advice to reduce the turmoil of conflict and foster reconciliation in your professional and personal life.”
—Michael Wheeler, Harvard Business School

“Daniel Shapiro provides us with one of the most optimistic and compelling approaches to conflict resolution of our time.”
—Howard W. Buffett, Lecturer in International and Public Affairs, Columbia University

“With telling examples from the bedroom to the boardroom to the war room, this book gives us something invaluable—a way both to see the perils of identity conflict in negotiation and to avoid them.”
—Robert Cialdini, Author of Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion

Negotiating the Nonnegotiable is one of the most important books of our modern era.”
—Jaime de Bourbon de Parme, Ambassador of the Netherlands to the Holy See

“A life-changing book!  If you are going to read one book this year to improve your life, choose Negotiating the Nonnegotiable.”
—Simona Baciu, Founder and President, Transylvania College

“A modern masterpiece! Bold and compelling from the first page. . . . Every leader should read it and live by it.”
—Katherine Garrett-Cox, CEO, Alliance Trust Investments

Negotiating the Nonnegotiable is sure to be required reading for diplomats and peace-builders alike."
—Nancy Lindborg, President, United States Institute of Peace

“Those seeking peaceful resolutions should keep this book on a bedside table.”
—David Gergen, former White House adviser; Co-director, Center for Public Leadership, Harvard Kennedy School of Government
© Susan Young
Daniel Shapiro, PhD, is a world-renowned expert on negotiation and conflict resolution. He founded and directs the Harvard International Negotiation Program, which has pioneered innovative strategies and teaching methodologies to address the human dimensions of conflict resolution. Dr. Shapiro also is an associate professor in psychology at Harvard Medical School/McLean Hospital and affiliated faculty at Harvard Law School's Program on Negotiation, where he serves as the associate director of the Harvard Negotiation Project. For three years, he chaired the World Economic Forum’s Global Agenda Council on Conflict Prevention. He has launched back-channel negotiations to help revitalize formal peace negotiations in a major Middle East conflict, and regularly conducts negotiation trainings for government leaders around the world—including Middle East negotiators, Chinese officials, Serbian members of parliament, and senior U.S. officials. Through nonprofit funding, he developed a conflict management program that now reaches one million youth across more than thirty countries. He has appeared on dozens of radio and television shows and has contributed to The New York TimesO, The Oprah Magazine, and other popular publications. Dr. Shapiro is the recipient of numerous awards, including the American Psychological Association's Early Career Award and the Cloke-Millen Peacemaker of the Year Award. The World Economic Forum named him a “Young Global Leader.” In his spare time, he plays blues guitar and enjoys playing baseball with his three sports-loving sons. View titles by Daniel Shapiro

About

“One of the most important books of our modern era” –Amb. Jaime de Bourbon

For anyone struggling with conflict, this book can transform you.
Negotiating the Nonnegotiable takes you on a journey into the heart and soul of conflict, providing unique insight into the emotional undercurrents that too often sweep us out to sea. With vivid stories of his closed-door sessions with warring political groups, disputing businesspeople, and families in crisis, Daniel Shapiro presents a universally applicable method to successfully navigate conflict.  A deep, provocative book to reflect on and wrestle with, this book can change your life.
 
Be warned: This book is not a quick fix. Real change takes work. You will learn how to master five emotional dynamics that can sabotage conflict outside your awareness:

1. Vertigo: How can you avoid getting emotionally consumed in conflict?
2. Repetition compulsion: How can you stop repeating the same conflicts again and again?
3. Taboos: How can you discuss sensitive issues at the heart of the conflict?
4. Assault on the sacred: What should you do if your values feel threatened?
5. Identity politics: What can you do if others use politics against you?

In our era of discontent, this is just the book we need to resolve conflict in our own lives and in the world around us.

Praise

“A masterpiece—clear, insightful, and practical. . . . Highly recommended!”
—William Ury, co-author of Getting to Yes and author of Getting to Yes with Yourself

“Quite simply, the best book I have ever read on negotiating in situations of extreme conflict.”
—Matthew Bishop, The Economist Group

“Brilliant insights to the baffling conundrum of our age, intractable disputes of all kinds.”
—Daniel Goleman, author Emotional Intelligence

"Excellent."
David Brooks, The New York Times

“Shapiro exposes the myth that humans are primarily rational in their decision making. . . . More importantly, he discusses the conflicts between good and bad that take place in all of us. . . . The world has been enriched with another intelligent lecture on how we should interact with each other. Hopefully this time we will listen.”
—Forbes

“Daniel Shapiro gives you the tools to transform yourself.”
Rick Kleffel (KQED), Rainbow Light blog

“I have recommended Shapiro’s book more than any other book I have read in quite some time.”
PsychCentral   

“A blueprint for successful negotiation.”
—Booklist

“Appealing to rationality isn’t always the best way to mend a rift; instead, both parties in a negotiation have to be willing to get in touch with the conflict’s more emotional underpinnings. In his book, Negotiating the Nonnegotiable [Shapiro] shares the strategies he’s used to help people in all kinds of settings access the core emotions driving their conflicts and reach mutually beneficial resolutions.”
—Business Insider
 
“A must-read! Dan Shapiro’s Negotiating the Nonnegotiable offers bold, practical, and uplifting advice to reduce the turmoil of conflict and foster reconciliation in your professional and personal life.”
—Michael Wheeler, Harvard Business School

“Daniel Shapiro provides us with one of the most optimistic and compelling approaches to conflict resolution of our time.”
—Howard W. Buffett, Lecturer in International and Public Affairs, Columbia University

“With telling examples from the bedroom to the boardroom to the war room, this book gives us something invaluable—a way both to see the perils of identity conflict in negotiation and to avoid them.”
—Robert Cialdini, Author of Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion

Negotiating the Nonnegotiable is one of the most important books of our modern era.”
—Jaime de Bourbon de Parme, Ambassador of the Netherlands to the Holy See

“A life-changing book!  If you are going to read one book this year to improve your life, choose Negotiating the Nonnegotiable.”
—Simona Baciu, Founder and President, Transylvania College

“A modern masterpiece! Bold and compelling from the first page. . . . Every leader should read it and live by it.”
—Katherine Garrett-Cox, CEO, Alliance Trust Investments

Negotiating the Nonnegotiable is sure to be required reading for diplomats and peace-builders alike."
—Nancy Lindborg, President, United States Institute of Peace

“Those seeking peaceful resolutions should keep this book on a bedside table.”
—David Gergen, former White House adviser; Co-director, Center for Public Leadership, Harvard Kennedy School of Government

Author

© Susan Young
Daniel Shapiro, PhD, is a world-renowned expert on negotiation and conflict resolution. He founded and directs the Harvard International Negotiation Program, which has pioneered innovative strategies and teaching methodologies to address the human dimensions of conflict resolution. Dr. Shapiro also is an associate professor in psychology at Harvard Medical School/McLean Hospital and affiliated faculty at Harvard Law School's Program on Negotiation, where he serves as the associate director of the Harvard Negotiation Project. For three years, he chaired the World Economic Forum’s Global Agenda Council on Conflict Prevention. He has launched back-channel negotiations to help revitalize formal peace negotiations in a major Middle East conflict, and regularly conducts negotiation trainings for government leaders around the world—including Middle East negotiators, Chinese officials, Serbian members of parliament, and senior U.S. officials. Through nonprofit funding, he developed a conflict management program that now reaches one million youth across more than thirty countries. He has appeared on dozens of radio and television shows and has contributed to The New York TimesO, The Oprah Magazine, and other popular publications. Dr. Shapiro is the recipient of numerous awards, including the American Psychological Association's Early Career Award and the Cloke-Millen Peacemaker of the Year Award. The World Economic Forum named him a “Young Global Leader.” In his spare time, he plays blues guitar and enjoys playing baseball with his three sports-loving sons. View titles by Daniel Shapiro